THE CRAZIEST COUGH SYRUP

So you've stumbled upon a bottle of Linctus, eh? Well, prepare your guts because this ain't your grandma's cough syrup. This stuff is gooey, like a potion brewed in the bowels of the earth. It tastes like licorice and regret and smells like medicine gone wrong. But hey, it might just cure your hiccups! Just be warned: It's not for the faint of hea